March 1, 2012 admin

More Than Crockett & Tubbs

Miami… What a Fascinating and FUN place to people watch!

I realize the main reason both men and women are drawn to Miami for a short recharge or week long vacation spot is for a little fun in the sun.  And the good news is that you don’t have to wait very long before the physical, mental and emotional transformation into vacation mode takes over.  It truly is instantaneous as you step off the plane and the first burst of humidity hits your skin.  Now, before I share some cultural insights 🙂 let me clarify that anyone can enjoy the beautiful and educational sights of Miami.  But to truly indulge and soak up all that this wonderful city has to offer, knowing Benjamin and having connections will make a significance difference in HOW you experience this hot and happening city… And I don’t mean just weather hot… What happens in Miami stays in Miami.

Take this past weekend.  Whether you were strolling down Lincoln Road, lying at the beach or hotel pool or simply enjoying an event at the South Beach Food and Wine Show, one would have made this observation.  The number of flat stomach, tight bottomed and perfect breasted women in Miami out number the rest of us average females by about 50:1.  Lol!  Now please don’t judge and think I’m jealous or exaggerating.  I, sincerely, am in awe of these beautiful creatures as they strut around in their beautiful bikinis or body hugging outfits.  Particular attention was in fact paid to the Miami Hem lines, a fashion statement in itself. Hem lines abruptly stop right under the glutes, perfectly cupping the tush.  And it makes no difference if you are sporting a white see through striped dress with 6″ heels or happen to be one of the poor souls that unfortunately forgot their pants to be left wearing only a shirt for the night.

It’s a pretty common fact that all women spend a considerable amount of time primping before heading out.  I’m definitely guilty of taking an hour to get ready… Apparently 55 min longer than my naturally sexy man would prefer 🙂  But, regardless of the time spent in front of a mirror, most women know they aren’t clockin’ in at 110lbs with a 32D-22-32 physique.   So, the question that begs to be asked is why do these real women, who truly are beautiful, morph into sausages by squeezing into outfits 2-3 sizes too small :/

Don’t misinterpret what I’m saying.  My love for clothes runs as deep as the next woman.  I myself spent hours strategically packing the perfect outfits so I could look and feel sexy all weekend next to my sweetheart.  Sure I ended up with a suitcase that tipped the scale and cost an extra $100 on my American Airlines flight.  But I think it was worth it…

It’s not just the tourists but 99.9% of the locals that work in retail, clubs or restaurants have made alterations to their bodies.  As a vertically challenged individual, my eyes come to rest at a height where I spent 4 days checking out womens’ racks.  The natural female body is absolutely beautiful and sensual with all its curves and softness, in whatever shape and size.  It really is a shame that people don’t accept their bodies for what they are naturally born with.

So it is ironic, that it was actually the men that caught my attention more than the women. The men that these women sidle up to exhibit zero desire to keep up with any fashion sense and actually dress at night as if they are still at the beach.  If they do “dress up” and throw on a Button down or a T-shirt with jeans, their tops snug their beer bellies reinforcing that once men over 30 have a woman, there isn’t a need to stay in shape.  Most of the men have soft, cuddly bodies, but more than compensate with their wallet.

I don’t believe my observations are unfair despite being isolated to South Beach, the Fontainebleau Hotel and LIV nightclub areas.  Liv, by the way, is not only the hottest nightclub on the planet, but if you somehow manage to get inside the doors, you and your friend can secure a table for a small $2,500 donation AND rub elbows with an A-lister or local celebrity.  Just last Friday, a few of the Dolphin boys hung out in their $15k booth on the dance floor, sporting their jerseys (it must have been laundry day) enjoying bottle service and listening to house beats by incredible DJs like Max Vangeli.  Even though my several $18 watered down drinks didn’t so much as bring on a buzz, the music truly was insane… Making the hours on the dance floor with a rare guy that has rhythm, quite memorable.

So, whether you are down in Miami looking for some fun in the sun or lucky enough to be on a “business trip”, you will return home enlightened and more cultured.  But, be warned… Do not forget to pack your sunglasses.  This is the only way to freely observe your surroundings without getting caught staring, while avoiding possible whiplash 🙂